Want to say sorry to all my friends who were abused on whatever level! And am in deep prayer for us all!
As a man, i fight this way on earth with all my strength, and more of His. Jesus was acquainted with ALL our griefs, nearly beaten to death himself, mocked and ridiculed on every level, humiliated; and from my own journey, I can meet you in that particular pain.
So sorry the worst of our nature acted out on you all dear friends. Most of my friends have been abused (i would say at least 80% of artists, and many in ministry were abused on multiple levels in life), so I am not surprised so many were.
I try to make even my eyes towards women and men, not take from or abuse them in any way, but honor their inner dignity. To proactively honor one another’s inner dignity is a displacement of this spirit of abuse, and taking from one another for our own needs. Abuse is basically extreme selfishness, and doesn’t honor identity itself!
I was also sexually abused at age 9 and again at 15, so have had to learn the healing journey in this area. In fact I rarely meet someone especially in counseling who wasn’t abused on some level. I think we can come to see even our abusers in love, once we’ve healed. I’ve experienced that. But the first stage is getting it out into the Light!
When I was hit repeatedly and mugged by a young Puerto Rican kid years later, i had to go through another long process of forgiveness and healing, so that i didn’t hate all puerto rican kids—what a dumb thing to write off one of the coolest must life giving peoples on earth.
I’m glad i did the healing work, now some of my best friends are from there. I think we have to do the same with whatever group we were hurt by—we can’t hate all men or women, or races. We need to find the healing to love them even more instead. That’s the way of Jesus, at least.
He ended up forgiving those who were even killing Him, that was of course one of his last dying prayers. Father forgive them, for they really don’t know what they are doing. That has to end up, after dealing with the hurt, anger and pain, of our way as well. Partly, as Bono said, so that we don’t become the monster we are fighting!
To forgive and plant new life in that violated area is where healing starts. It has actually made me purer and stronger in that area of my life, and able to enter deeply into the pain of others in care, safety and love.
I’m thankful in that sense for what happened to me when young, though it was a violation of my youth and identity, and an attack on my own purity. But I’ve been aware of it since I was very young, so this does not surprise me, what many are finally sharing now. It’s unfortunately common, not just among women, but men as well. This is not new news!
Many of the ministers and artists i counsel were abused multiple times on many levels. It happens to men and women, and of all races and nations. It’s not gender specific, or race specific even. It’s human specific!
The sin nature is not isolated to one group. But neither is the healing available-thank God! The one who made our dignity and identity was there, knows all about it, and is willing to help you grieve through it, if you want to heal, and not grow bitter and projective! I assure you that much.
Thanks for sharing your stories this week friends. Bringing things into the Light, ushers in collective healing, which is my prayer for us all!
The resulting sins we do, once abused, or even our mindsets towards others, also have to be confessed. So we can see again more accurately with a pre-abuse interpretation of other people. Or a post abuse view, with Love miraculously back in our hearts again, and a willingness to trust again. I’ve learned to love those most like my abusers!
That is Grace, and an imparted vision! But of course, owning, anger into grief and healing always come first. You can’t heal if you are in denial. So, it seems like some are starting the process in our times! Great and praise God, who wants to heal, and is truly intimate with all our particular abuses! Bruised for our healing, specifically. And can come in a sooth our wounds. I know, i’ve experienced it! It’s actually real.
If our bodies were violated, He will incarnate there! And let you know safety again in self, and even give you the ability to give outwardly again. In that safe Love space. He is a healer of souls as well as spirits and bodies. He can teach us boundaries and freedom again. Freedom to live outside of fear of abusive other. He is the non-Abusive Other! And brings healing and Peace on His Wings! I’ve known it in my own body, heart and soul. It’s actually true.
Still, our orientation towards others who are like those who abused us, has to become Love. We can’t fear and hate all women, men, black people or whoever abused you. Other nations included. We have to come to a place, where we no longer live in fear of other, and instead, are whole and can even serve them. This is part of what Jesus meant in loving our personal enemies. It wasn’t an ideal, it was a possibility of the heart, He was offering.
Otherwise, we write off over half of humanity, which isn’t an option if you believe that God is Love. So I’ve had to learn to love and trust again, and treat people as the poetry we each really are.
That’s a journey, and maybe this is the start of that journey for many people this week. I hope so. Healing is real and possible. Your greatest area of abuse can become your ministry in life! The area where you shine forth God’s love the brightest! I’ve experienced it! That place where you minister the Life He has formed in that area where you were most hurt, becomes the thing you needed most in that moment. Let’s let Him in there friends! Thanks again for sharing your stories, hurts and hopes friends!
Also, as certain nations have been more abused than others historically, would love to hear more of their stories of healing. It’s not just personal, it’s also collective. If a place has been raped multiple times, as many nation’s have, and have come through some healing, you have something to say and teach us about healing in time. Curious about those voices in this current dialogue.
It’s not just a woman man issue (and we need to be very careful here, since this particular trigger came from a man, not to dualize this issue! Or racialize it, it is a human problem of the heart in the end), as we must know by now. My “abusers” were women, as well as men.
The first was a baby sitter who forced me to take my clothes off for her own pleasure, and it got worse. But I’m not going into my own story here, just saying this is unfortunately the new normal, so time to learn what healing really means! This is the case for many! Abuse comes in all packages as they say, but carries the same violation spirit. Good to judge it by the spirit!
And from different races as well.
We need to see the heart issue here. It’s a sin nature problem with demonic and systematic re-inforcement of course, as all abuse moves in. You can’t melt people in furnaces, if you are not moving in a dark force, and your personal hatreds and wounds aren’t attached to another enforcing power. But we can clear out what in us would want to murder! These are heart issues!
Jesus taught us even to lust in our heart, was a sin. He was dealing with roots, before actions! That’s how we have to deal with it also.
Since this abuse discourse is coming up, it feels like an opportunity for healing and good teaching from those who have come through it, and aren’t living in hatred and fear. Looking forward to the rest of the story on this one! And an open dialogue, glad people are finally considering it! I’ve been considering it as long as I can remember!
As a minister and artist, i know few of my friends who have not been physically and or sexually abused, not just harassed or assaulted, but physically abused—there are levels of abuse, but it’s always the same selfish heart. Take what I need, in my way.
It’s very common now. I usually assume it, when counseling, especially with artist or those in ministry.
As a minister’s son, i just assume that is aimed beforehand! Comes with the territory as they say! And I’ve worked with many sons and daughters of ministry who were hardcore abused. I almost assume it when i meet one now.
And try to help the other person get out of denial and into real healing!
Unfortunately abuse is the norm not the exception in our times! So it has to become part of spiritualities! This has seemed obvious to me for many years, but now appears to becoming apparent to more people. Good news, that! Now, let’s get to the real healing games!
Good that it is coming into the light, as it has to to let the Light of healing in! So, we too! And as one of my favorite poets put it: we all have abused and have been abused, but few have learned Love well. Let’s! It’s a human heart issue at the end of the day, i pray we move towards healing together as we share our stories!
There are many who have been laboring in these healing fields for many years, let’s listen to them now. As we care for one another in these particular pains, we are collectively going through! Wisdom is waiting now in this area, let’s seek it out, and grow together friends! And again, thanks for being bold enough to start the new chapter in the endless story!
More on this soon. But feeling the collective heart of my family stirring awake through this issue, which is much deeper than social media. It is a matter and opportunity of the human heart to grow into itself. With, in prayer, my many friends who are just beginning the grieving process in this area. There really is hope friends! Thanks for taking the first step towards HIM!