To have things pulled up and out of us which are misaligned with The Order of things in Christ is basic for growth. As in a garden, when we pull weeds or things blocking the growth of what is planted, there is a necessary clearing out of things which pull us away from the path of Life, or Christ Himself.
Confrontation is a method of exposing weeds in our inner garden. It is rarely about the thing which exposed the weed, and more about looking at the weed itself and allowing it to be pulled.
You see this happening internally, and that is where the focus should be. God uses confrontation to expose those misaligned areas. When we become in conflict, to quickly turn and see what is being exposed in us is the core practice. We often try to return to a state of peace without allowing the weed to be fully exposed, and so miss the purpose of the confrontation. When we are confronted with something that rouses our defenses, it is good to look at what we are defending, and let it get exposed. Conflict in this way becomes part of our growth.
To make connections on a deeper level allows different parts of Jesus in us to touch other parts of Himself. The essence of growth is Him integrating Himself through His People. If the confrontations just bring up wall against wall, we miss the touching, the possible intimacies He is trying to have with Himself through us. Fellowship is to be communion, which is a inner touching inner in another—spirit touching spirit. This is where love rest as well, and is not ultimately about donuts and coffee, but fusion and relationship between parts of Himself which yearn to be together.