How do I know what’s my inheritance?
Feels like a humbling place to start… I have a friend who is asking this question a lot right now. Both Derek and I have gone through in different ways a “consecration” during which God asked us what we wanted a lot. It makes sense to us now that he chooses to refine some people this way. Some of us get to the banquet and are so overloaded by all the bounty we get option anxiety and turn it away. Others of us think that death to self means denying ourselves any of our wants, and as a result we end up ministering to others without knowing what we are actually giving up. How can we die to self if we do not know what self is? For me personally, what I thought was at one point a sacrificial lifestyle was actually more total self-hatred. I justified a lack of self-care by taking pride in my “simplicity”. Without sharing my whole healing journey–which still goes on–let’s just say I stopped asking for things I really wanted much too young. Children need to know Daddy loves them enough to fulfill their heart’s desire.
The danger of this in christian service is that some of us end up giving things we don’t really have to give. They don’t come from a whole heart. …So He may ask you, “what do you really want?” every time you ask Him to give you some directive. Well, goodness, go ahead and pour your heart out to Him. Start the conversation.